Feeling stuck or frustrated? This might be why.

Have you ever found yourself getting ahead and making progress on something that really matters, only to suddenly lose momentum, get distracted, or even give up completely?

You’re not lazy, unmotivated, or weak. In fact, what you might be dealing with is something much more common: self-sabotage.

In this week’s newsletter let’s dive into why we sometimes get in our own way, what those hidden patterns look like, and how you can begin breaking free for good. If you’ve been feeling stuck or frustrated lately, keep reading. This could be the shift you need.

What Really Is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage happens when we undermine our own success or well-being, often without realising it. It’s the skipped workouts when you’re trying to get healthier. The late-night snacking that leaves you feeling drained the next day. The fear-fuelled procrastination that keeps you from starting something new.

At its core, self-sabotage isn’t about failure, it’s about fear. Fear of change. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of what success might mean.

How Self-Sabotage Shows Up in Your Life

Self-sabotage can be sneaky. It doesn’t always look like an obvious “bad habit.” More often, it shows up as small, repeated choices that take you further away from your goals or values.

You might notice it in:

Procrastination – Putting off important tasks, even when you care about them deeply.
Perfectionism – Not starting (or finishing) something because it won’t be “just right.”
Negative self-talk – That inner voice that says you’re not smart, disciplined, or worthy enough.
Avoidance – Choosing comfort or distraction over growth and challenge.
All-or-nothing thinking – Giving up after one misstep instead of adjusting and continuing.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. And there’s a way forward.

Where It Comes From

Self-sabotage often stems from early experiences, beliefs we’ve absorbed, or moments when we felt unsafe, rejected, or criticised. Over time, our minds try to protect us from future hurt, even if that “protection” ends up limiting our potential.

For example, if success once led to envy or conflict in a past relationship, your mind might associate growth with danger. Or if trying hard still resulted in failure, you might subconsciously believe there’s no point in trying at all.

The result? You hold back, stay small, or stay stuck, often without knowing why.

The First Step: Awareness

One of the most powerful things you can do is simply notice when you’re falling into self-sabotaging patterns. Begin by asking yourself:

• What am I avoiding right now, and why?

• What fear might be underneath this behaviour?

• Is this action helping me or holding me back?

  Bringing gentle awareness to your patterns creates space to respond differently.

How to Start Breaking the Cycle

Let’s be clear: self-sabotage isn’t something you “fix” overnight. But small, intentional steps can build momentum and shift your mindset in meaningful ways.

1. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
You don’t need to do everything right. Just do one small thing that moves you in the direction you want to go. Even a 5-minute task done imperfectly is better than waiting for the perfect time that never comes.

2. Rewrite the Story
Challenge those old beliefs that say, “I always give up,” or “I’m not the kind of person who succeeds.” Instead, try this: “I’m learning to follow through,” or “I can grow into this.” Your brain listens to the language you use.

3. Be Kind to Yourself
Self-compassion isn’t letting yourself off the hook, it’s giving yourself the support you need to try again. When you mess up (and you will), respond like you would to a friend: with patience, perspective, and encouragement.

4. Create Supportive Habits
Surround yourself with routines and environments that make success easier. That might mean setting out your walking shoes the night before, or keeping healthy snacks visible. Small cues can have a big impact on behaviour.

5. Celebrate the Little Wins
You don’t need to wait for the big result to feel good. Every time you follow through, challenge a fear, or choose growth over comfort, acknowledge it. You’re building trust in yourself and that’s powerful.

You’re Allowed to Change

You don’t have to keep living in patterns that no longer serve you. You’re allowed to grow. You’re allowed to try something new. You’re allowed to change your mind, shift direction, and choose differently, even if it’s messy at first.

Self-sabotage isn’t a sign that you’re broken. It’s a sign that there’s something worth protecting, and that part of you just needs reassurance that you’ll be okay. When you start responding with curiosity instead of criticism, everything begins to shift.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, discouraged, or like your own worst enemy, know this: you are not alone, and you are not beyond change. Self-sabotage might be part of your story, but it doesn’t have to be the ending.

You’re allowed to want more. You’re allowed to go after it. And you’re more capable than you think.

Until next time, go gently, and stay true to yourself.

The information provided in this newsletter is for general guidance and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making significant changes to your health and wellness routine.

Wishing you good health,

The Wellness Valet Team

Recipe of the Week: Tahini Noodles with Greens and Toasted Sesame

Ingredients:

• 150g whole wheat or buckwheat noodles

• 1 tablespoon sesame oil

• 1 clove garlic, finely grated

• 1 teaspoon fresh ginger, finely grated

• 2 tablespoons tahini

• 1 tablespoon tamari or low-sodium soy sauce

• 1 teaspoon maple syrup

• Juice of half a lime

• A splash of hot water (to thin the sauce)

• 2 big handfuls of baby spinach or shredded greens (like chard or kale)

• 1 spring onion, finely sliced

• 1 teaspoon toasted sesame seeds

• Optional: chilli flakes or a soft-boiled egg

Method

• Cook the noodles according to the packet instructions. Drain and set aside.

• In a small bowl, mix the tahini, tamari, maple syrup, lime juice, and a splash of hot water to create a silky sauce.

• In a pan, warm the sesame oil and gently sauté the garlic and ginger until fragrant (about 1 minute).

• Add the cooked noodles and greens to the pan, tossing gently to wilt the greens.

• Pour in the tahini sauce and mix to coat evenly.

• Serve warm, topped with spring onions, sesame seeds, and optional extras like chilli flakes or a soft-boiled egg.

These Warming Tahini Noodles are grounding, nourishing, and easy to pull together—perfect for evenings when you want to support your body and mood with intention. A feel-good meal without the overwhelm.